Self Help Journal – A collection of self help tips to boost positive thinking.

This self help journal contains a few of my personal notations and also tips contributed by others who agree that keeping a journal plays an important part in the overall development of a positive attitude.

I found that it’s best to have a pocket size journal for easy reading and note-taking – anytime, anyplace.

Please contribute to this journal by using the form at the bottom of this page.

Self Help Journal - Item#1: Remember the fly: Sometimes trying harder just isn’t the answer. There are occasions when it‘s best to sit back a moment, take a deep breath and re-evaluate your options so as to get the job done, quickly and more efficiently.

In his book, “You2”, Price Pritchett relates the story of how he was relaxing at a country inn one July day when he notice a life-or-death struggle of a small fly that was attempting to battle his way to the outside world through a glass window.

It was obvious to the observer that the fly’s strategy of - try harder was not working – the frenzied effort offered no hope for survival. The fly was doomed.

Across the room, a mere ten steps away, the door was open. A few seconds of easy flying time and the fly could reach its goal of escaping to the outside world.

Why didn’t the fly try another approach, something dramatically different instead of locking itself in on the idea that this was the way to fulfill his mission? As the author of this story concluded - “Trying harder” isn’t necessarily the solution to achieving more. It may not offer any real promise for giving what you want out of life. Sometimes, in fact, it’s a big part of the problem.” - Self Help Journal

Many times in the past, especially when attempting to meet a deadline, I would “try harder” and as a result stifled any hope of meaningful creativity. Creativity takes time.

One of my favorite writers is Dave Barry, the award winning humour columnist and author of several books who once told an audience, “A blinding flash of light doesn’t hit me and I just sit down and write great stuff. I think what makes my writing funny is that I distill it.” Between flashes and distillation, Barry says, “I’ll interrupt myself a hundred times a day to eat, clip my toenails and pick my teeth.”

Any creative endeavor takes revision, nurturing and patience – in other words time. There’s an old Chinese saying, “You cannot win if you treat time as an enemy.”

Another Dave Barry comment worth repeating – “I think people limit themselves by saying ‘Ah, no one will like that. That’s not good.”

As someone once said - “To be brilliant you have to be willing to be stupid.”

Self Help Journal - Item#3: Quit beating up on yourself:

Richard Ryan,Ph.D., director of clinical training and associate professor at the University of Rochester suggested, “Many people are too critical of themselves and that is what saps their energy.”

Think about it – we start off in life fully charged with child enthusiasm then this powerful energy begins to diminish as we connect with other people who are controlling of others and critical of all things in life and we download this negative virus into our brain computer. Dr. Ryan advises – “Recognize who the taskmaster is. You control your life. Seek autonomy and challenge. Take a less critical stance.”

Self Help Journal - Item #4: The Rainbow Road:

Visualization plays an important part in any positive thinking upgrade. (Visit the visualization page for more details.) .That’s why I have placed a series of pictures in this journal – visualization. As an example, after reading the above journal entry about “remember the fly”, concentrate on the picture of the fly for a minute and from now on, every time you see a fly you will remember – “try harder” is not always the answer – or “don’t work harder – work smarter” – remember the fly.

Another visualization picture – Remember the rainbow road.

My self help journal tells the story of how while driving my car, I was, as usual,in the left “led foot ” lane going hell bent to somewhere. While thinking about a project I was working on, I remembered the picture of the “rainbow road” and for some reason it impelled me to move over to the right “slow” lane and cruised in a calm and easy speed. I inserted a “Ella sings Cole Porter” CD into the player and let the world speed past me like a stampede of spooked buffalo.

The next time your driving in your car, remember the “rainbow road”. Travel the right “slow lane” – use the easy drive to listen to “positive talk” via motivational audio tapes and CD’s. Not only will this make your trip more pleasurable but you are increasing the amount of positive input for the day. Listening to positive material does wonders in eliminating the negatives that SEEM to dominate the day – remember the rainbow road.

This, I feel, is an important entry for any self help journal. “The thought jungle” - Disorganized thinking - too many subjects jamming the thought process at the same time – Have to do this – have to do that – what about this? Jumping from one subject to another. It can feel as if you’re hacking your way through a dense jungle – what to do next and when – working on one assignment, thinking about another - disorganized thinking fueled by a lack of time management.
This kind of mish-mash thought process can exhaust mental and physical energy and severely slash productivity and as a result, the mind is flooded with waves of negativity.

Any self hel journal will tell you there’s an easy way to clear a path through this “thought jungle” – just use a pencil and paper and take the time to plan and organize.

• On a personal note, I would take time just before bedtime to jot down on a piece of paper what I had to or wanted to do the next day – no particular order.
• I would prioritize later using, whenever possible, Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto’s 80-20 rule – 80 percent of the reward comes from 20 percent of the effort.
• Also, geographical considerations can come into the prioritizing effort. As an example, if I have something I have to pick up or a place to visit would it be better on my way to work on the way home or during lunch break?.
• You have to be flexible – allow time for emergencies. Most time management experts suggest you work on a 50% schedule which allows time to work in any unexpected assignments. When you’re “to-do” list is interrupted, ask yourself Alan Lakein's crucial question, "What is the most important thing I can be doing with my time right now?" to help you get back on track fast.
• While your working on your list consider if any of the assignments can be handled by someone else – keep to assignments only you can do.
• A visitor to this self help journal told me he uses an A-B-C- list. Anything in the A section has to be completed the next day. Listings in the B section have to be completed within the week. The C section lists assignments that have to be completed within a month – as days pass B and C items keep moving up while others are added to C.

You will obviously make adjustments as you work with this schedule but remember, make it work for you – if it’s not personalized and honest it won’t cut through the “thought jungle.”

Self Help Journal – Item #6 – Is this glass of water half full or half empty?:

The other day, while walking my grandchildren’s dog, I couldn’t help but hear a mother loudly criticizing a child I assume was her son – “That’s not the way it’s supposed to go. You know better than that. Try to get it right for a change”

Great, not exactly the way to promote a positive attitude in the boy. I tried to picture him as an adult – not a happy camper.

But my eavesdropping also sparked a memory of an event I witnessed while visiting a school as a guest assembly speaker. A third grader presented his plaster-of-paris model of a rocket launching pad. I assumed the lad had made it on his own without parent help as I had to ask later what it was supposed to represent.

But the teacher enthusiastically asked questions which the boy answered in great detail and she gave him a “well done” for his efforts. His eyes lit up with pride and accomplishment.

Remember how you felt the last time you received a “well done”?

Child or adult, as the bible says: “do unto others as you want to be done onto you.”

Think of the two children mentioned here. When they grow up, which one will see the glass of water as half full or as half empty?

Positive thinkers always think of the glass as half full and build from there – they’re motivated and quick to give a “great job” to others. If you are one of those who consider the glass to be half empty think of these two children – have others made you who you are?

Dr. Bernie S. Spiegel, M.D., famous surgeon and author of “Love, Medicine and Miracles and Peace, Love and Healing, says, “liberate the child in you. Stop thinking intellectually and start thinking intuitively. Think from your heart, not your head. When you think intellectually, others are controlling your life because you want to gain their acceptance and fit in.” he says. “but when you liberate that child, you say how you appear to others is their problem. You’re back to thinking in a different way.”

Visualize a half-full glass of water and get on with living.

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