"A man is a success if he gets up in the
morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do." Bob Dylan
The editor of this Retirement News Journal is a retired radio and television reporter who failed to recognize the importance of planning for the "creative" side of retirement and paid a heavy price for that neglect.
This Blog and the the home site are the first of a series of creative challenges that helped produce a positive, productive and profitable retirement and it can be the same for you through your computer and the internet thereby - Making your retirement life more interesting the longer you live.
July 22, 2008 - Olive's Last Message - Goodbye Sophia - Seniors Test and Other Stuff
In case you missed it - Olive Riley, the world's oldest blogger has posted her last message - Olive passed away peacefully last week at the age of 108.
Don't tell me you're too old to learn basic computer skills and the ways of the internet - Olive caught the techie bug as she approached her 100th birthday - posted more than 70 Blogs from her nursing home in Woy Woy Australia - the last one talking about the joy she found in "singing a happy song" every day.
The day I was scanning the net and came across the news story about Olive, I also uncovered this quote from Fulton J. Sheen that serves as the perfect Olive follow-up
"Each of us makes his own weather, determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits."
By the way, Olive's great-grandson, Darren Stone, noted that blogging and exchanging message with people around the world kept Olive active and alert - "She enjoyed the notoriety - the experience kept her mind fresh"
OK, starting a creative retirement job on the internet at the age of 108 might be a tad too much to ask - but not so when you're in your 60's, 70's and 80's
I bring this up because of a conversation I had, while participating in a game of Blackjack at the local casino - it was what I call a "happy table" - the dealer was a jovial young lady, quick with a quip - the players were all enjoying themselves plus we all knew how to play the game -we were not handicapped by a newbie hitting on a 14 when the dealer was showing a six - so the laughs were frequent and no one was getting hurt all that much - as far as I could tell.
The gentleman sitting beside me started the conversation by asking me if I was retired - which was nice of him - I look retired - after all I'm older than dirt - he confirmed he was also retired.
"How long have you been retired" he asked. "About 15 years" "I'm in my fifth year - feels like twenty" Why's that" "Bored out of my mind - if it wasn't for the once-a-week visit's to the tables they would tie my arms behind my back and toss me into a padded room" "Ya, you have to have something to pop you out of the bed every morning." (If you have ever cruised the host website you will note I use that line a lot.)
To cut a long story short, when he asked me how I kept retirement active, I told him about my websites and other internet oriented retirement jobs - he wasn't impressed - "Na, I'm too old to learn that gobbledygook"
Then I told him about making some extra retirement cash - that caught his interest - "how?" - I told him about Google AdSense, Affiliate relationships and on occasion, Selling hard goods (sometimes my own but mostly someone else's)
However, I lost him - he had doubled up and was dealt a blackjack - retirement was not so boring to him - at least for the next ten minutes - that's when I left the table - I had doubled up - was dealt a 15 - the dealer had a 4 showing and she turned a six - sometimes the gambling gods have this thing against seniors.
But all that aside - you can work a creative retirement job to earn extra bucks by - selling your knowledge.
In a minute I'm going to link you to a FREE E-book that will guide you, step-by-step - but first, I want to introduce you to Doug Green, a fellow SBIer - knows everything there is to know about gardening - and over time, he now has a library of 14 e-books and seven websites that he uses to market them. Talk about a $GREEN$ thumb - check out one of Doug's sites - Opens new window)here are some super advantages publishing an electronic book - (or other e-goods) that you can sell online
Online-immediate-delivery (no shipping to deal with)
Easy to update at any time
Transaction and fulfillment takes place automatically
Very low manufacturing cost (how about zero cost?)
An easy way to make extra retirement income - selling what you know.
Now, back a few years ago, I had to pay for this manual that started me on my internet journey - now, this costs you nothing - nada - zip, so take a minute to downloads and read Make Your Knowledge Sell! Opens a new window - It includes…
Her real name was Estelle Scher who was born in New York - we know her best as Estelle Getty, who played the part of one of my all time favourite TV characters - the smartly sarcastic octogenarian Sophia, on the TV classic The Golden Girls.
Estelle, who suffered from advanced dementia, passed away this day at the age of 84.
As her son said this morning - "She was loved throughout the world in six continents, and if they loved sitcoms in Antarctica she would have been loved on seven continents - she was one of the most talented comedic actresses who ever lived."
When she auditioned for The Golden Girls, Estelle was appearing on stage in Hollywood as the carping Jewish mother in Harvey Fierstein's play "Torch Song Trilogy." In her early 60s, she flunked her "Golden Girls" test twice because it was believed she didn't look old enough to play 80.
But she came prepared for the third audition, however, wearing dowdy clothes and telling an NBC makeup artist, "To you this is just a job. To me it's my entire career down the toilet unless you make me look 80." The artist did, Getty got the job and won two Emmys.
Once a stand up comic - Estelle could hurl a zinger like no other - remember when McClanahan's libidinous character Blanche once complained that her life was an open book, Sophia shot back, "Your life's an open blouse."
Take another break - and enjoy - goodbye Sophia - but you will always be with us thank God thanks to video and the internet.
Now we turn the mail bag - Thanks to retired buddy Dan Dombroski for the following Test for Old Kids
I was picky who I sent this to. It had to be those who might actually remember. So have some fun my sharp-witted friends. This is a test for us 'old kids'! The answers are printed below, but don't cheat. And don't come back with that 'this was before my time' either, even though some may be borderline.
After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?_________.
When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on The _____________ Show.
'Get your kicks, _________________.'
'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ______________.'
'In the jungle! the mighty jungle, ________________.'
After the Twist, The Mashed Potato! , and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '__________.
'N_E_S_T_L_E_S', Nestle's makes the very best . . . . _____________.'
Satchmo was America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.
What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? ____________.
Red Skelton 's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and _________'.
Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their_____________.
The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW What other names did it go by?___________ or______________
In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to _________________.
We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.
15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the _______________.
ANSWERS:
The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
The Ed Sullivan Show
On Route 66
To protect the innocent.
The Lion Sleeps Tonight
The limbo
Chocolate
Louis Armstrong
The Timex watch
Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'
Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed)
Beetle or Bug
Buddy Holly
Sputnik
Hula-hoop
Send this to your 'old' fri ends, better known as Seniors. It will drive them crazy! And keep them busy and let them forget their aches and pains for a few minutes
Thanks to daughter-in-law Julie for sending in this news photo - You can hear them saying - "no officer - we were just out fishing."
2,000 HP Outboard Inflatable .. Here's the latest drug runner toy from Europe ...
This thing belts across the English channel 3 times per week and was just a blur on the radar of the British Coast Guard.
They were so astonished by the speed of the unknown craft, they brought in a special high speed helicopter to chase it.
Drugs were found on board - of course, you'd have to be on drugs to put the throttle down on this rig.
Grab a cuppa, sit back and watch the following video - my thanks to retired buddy Norma Lampheir for sending in this story of a 12 year British Girl appearing on the BBC programme - Britains Got Talent.
Retired buddy Jim Hill sent in this story:
Back before he became an instantly recognized celebrity, when Albert Einstein was first making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur that he was tired of speechmaking.
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."
Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."
Now let's get working you creative retirement job - selling your knowledge - start here - (Go to URL)
June 30, 2008 - HD on the web - Americans and Canadians - Famous Last Words
Another month has flashed by - time seems to be passing at warp speed when you're working on a new creative retirement job.
As mentioned in earlier dispatches, shooting and editing in HD is my latest challenge and for me it's been a huge learning curve. However, I've been able to complete a couple of family history documentaries but nothing worthy for public exposure.
That became abundantly clear when I finally found a web hosting site that can handle HD - (Many site claim to handle HD but it's not the real thing, so be careful and do your homework)
Vimeo is a social website for HD producers, like YouTube and offers HD in the 720p format, exactly the same resolution (1280×720) used by major broadcast networks and many cable & satellite providers.
And, this HD community are eager to help newbies like my self. Eugenia Loli-Queru offered up a tutorial on how to upload but it didn't match my new editing software, so I sent her an Email asking for assistance and she answered back within the hour.
A quick break for some nonsense - thanks to retired buddy Linda Ardoino for this quickie: The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University (wink-wink-nudge-nudge)
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do this!
1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is how cat. 4. This is to cat. 5. This is keep cat. 6. This is an cat. 7. This is old cat. 8. This is fart cat. 9. This is busy cat. 10. This is for cat. 11. This is forty cat. 12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down - bet you can't resist passing it on.
Tomorrow, here in the Dominion, is our Canada Day Holiday and in this mornings National Post Dave Burwick, an American, who lived in Toronto for a couple years when serving as president of Pepsi-QTG Canada, offered a piece headlined what Americans can learn from Canadians.
Before offering up a top ten list of his favourite bits of Canadiana he noted: "........as I watched my 8-year-old, skating with his Leaside Flames teammates, I had an epiphany: Hockey is not just the national pastime and passion, it's the embodiment of Canadian values. It's about work ethic, team play, physical conditioning and mental toughness.
It's also about knowing when to leave all of that on the ice and move on.
Which leads me to the most important thing Americans can learn from Canadians: How to know when enough is enough, when it's time to just be content with your life.
Family and personal passions are more important to Canadians than work. People seem to know when the balance of life is just right. Their moral compass seems to always point to "true north."
Burwick then went add:
Here is my top-10 list of irreplaceable Canadiana that I'll have to find a way to smuggle past customs:
Tim's: What more can I say? It's 110% Canadian (even if it's owned by Americans now). Real coffee for real people, started by a real hockey player.
The sheer beauty and diverse geography of the country. From St. John's to Vancouver, with a long stopover in Banff.
Sweeter ketchup - and sweeter Diet Pepsi.
Terminal one at Pearson International Airport in Toronto: Nothing's more civilized.
The National Anthem: How can you beat the lyrics, "The true north
strong and free"?
Hockey Night in Canada: One of the last communal TV events left anywhere.
Eating a peameal sandwich every Saturday at 7 a.m. during my son's hockey practice. That ritual became Pavlovian.
Raising a family right in the middle of the city, and knowing they're safe.
Surviving a minus-30-degree day in downtown Winnipeg, and how it made me feel more alive.
CBC's coverage of international news. You just can't get that in the U.S.
On that last one I was thinking about editing in my old network in place of the CBC - but thought better of it - Dave is obviously a liberal democrat.
Another American/Canadian item - T. Boone Pickens, the American billionaire recently donated 25 million to support medical research at the University of Calgary and when talking to reporters noted the following - the increase in oil production by the Saudis is no big whoops - totally meaningless - oil will be over $150.00 a barrel well before the end of the year and over $200 a barrel by the end of next year.
While completing research on an entirely different subject the other day, a stumbled upon a site offering famous last words utter by famous people just before they walked into the bright light - wouldn't it be great, if given the time, to come up with something memorable and lasting such as:
Am I dying or is this my birthday? - Lady Nancy Astor, when she awoke momentarily to see her family around her bed
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart,
Is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I'm happy - Ethel Barrymore
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him - John Barrymore
That was a great game of golf, fellers - Bing Crosby
I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili.- Kit Carson
I've had a heck of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it. - Errol Flynn
Nobody shot me. - Frank "Tight Lips" Gusenberg, American mobster murdered as part of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.
A conversation between Stan Laurel and his nurse: Stand -
I wish I was skiing." Nurse: "Oh, Mr. Laurel, do you ski?" Stan: "No, but I'd rather be skiing than doing what I'm doing."
This isn't Hamlet, you know. It's not meant to go into the bloody ear. - Laurence Olivier to his nurse, in an attempt
to moisten his lips, mis-aimed. - (In Hamlet - the title character's father is killed when poison is dripped into his ear while asleep.
It is very beautiful over there. - Thomas Edison
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . ... - General John Sedgwick, Union Commander
Either that wallpaper goes, or I do. - Oscar Wilde
Thanks to retired buddy Tom Adams for today's kicker:
WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIRLINES IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORDERN MITCHIGEN, NORT & SOUT DAKOTA
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, the no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, here flyin is a upliftin experience. - Dair is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
Meals are potluck. Rows 1 tru 6, bring rolls; 7 tru 15, bring a salad; 16 tru 21, a hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert.
Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.
All fares are by free will offering, and da plane will not land til da budget is met.
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air.
Okay den, listen up; I'm only gonna say dis vonce:
In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly gonna be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because ve fly right around two
tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming
or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodder with doze liddle masks on da
rubber tubes--you're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat - Just stuff doze back up in dair liddle holes.
Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're gonna have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it.
Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive dose who sin against us, which some people say
'trespass against us,' which isn't right, but what can you do ?
Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden , not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is by da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God had meant you to use a cell phone, He wudda put your mout on da side of your
head.
We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffeepot up front.
Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pockets in front of you..
Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am gonna be real upset and I am not kiddin!
Right now I'll say Grace: Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts
to us be blessed. Fader, Son, and Holy Ghost, May we land in Dulut or pretty close.
Now let's get working on our creative retirement job - here's a starting point - (Go to URL)
June 5, 2008 - Korman and Conway - doomsday or not - interesting pics - Thanks for the Emails
Harvey Korman passed away last week - a great talent known for his outlandish but hysterically funny characterizations - he was 81.
Mr. Korman's career peaked as a member of the Carol Burnett TV show - (they don't make 'em like they used to) and along with Tim Conway created a series of comedy classics.
Korman and Conway toured together over the past several years and, according to Korman's daughter, Katherine, - they had a private jet and it was one huge party as the two old-timers kept working their comedy magic with no thoughts of retiring>
I saw them a couple of years ago at the Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater Florida and no matter how often you saw the routine, they made it funnier every time out.
Here's one of my favourites - Korman and Conway and "the dentist" skit - Conway is great as the dentist but much of the fun is Korman trying to keep a straight face - enjoy.
I'm not trying to make this entry a downer but I couldn't help but think of what's ahead for my kids and grandkids especially after reading the cover story in a recent issue of MacLean's magazine that headlined - Life at $200 a barrel - you won't be able to eat, travel or live as you do now - say goodbye to the age of plenty.
Today we know that because of oil going at $100 plus a barrel everything is going up in price and this is just the beginning - hang on to your wallets - we ain't seen nothing yet according to James Howard Kunstler the authour of the book - The Long Emergency - "expensive oil will thunder through the economic system cutting a wide swath of destruction"Kunstler predicts that during this decade half of the world's recoverable petroleum will have been extracted - not everyone agrees with him but some are echoing his ideas.
There's one guy - Matt Savinar - he's a California lawyer who in the past has been labeled a doomsday nut case - but, if you look at his evidence - he may not be such a whack job - as he himself noted in a recent interview - "I bet that once we get within a few years of oil production peaking, you'll see the U.S. invade the last large deposits - oh wait, that already has happened.
So,
as the song goes - "We've got trouble my friends - trouble in River City" - economic trouble brought about by many factors the biggest of which is high gas prices.
The government says I can't use the "R" word so - this economic downturn is causing many retired folks some concern and those who are about to join our ranks have some big-time planning to complete if they hope to enjoy the so called "Golden Years".
One answer is building an extra revenue source via the internet - Ecommerce is the future and you can be part of this growing action - IF - you take the time to do your research.
Many of you I know will react the same way I did years ago - "no way Jose, I know zip about Ecommerce let alone the computer and all the techie stuff."
It ain't that tough - IF - you take the time to do your research.
My first step into vault of Ecommerce was eBay followed by building my own websites - the revenue comes from selling products on eBay and through affiliate links and Goggle ads on the websites.
Many thanks to retired buddy Joanne Raycraft for sending in these remarkable pics - Northern Lights over Yellowknife (the capital of Canada's Northwest Territories) and living in teepees at 37 below 0 !!
Cool!
My thanks to retired buddy Elma Hickman who sent in the following - an actual advertisement in an Irish newspaper
Automobile for Sale - 1985 Blue Volkswagen Only 50 miles. Only first gear and reverse ever used. Never driven hard - Original tyres - Original brakes - Original fuel and oil - Only 1 driver Owner wishing to sell due to employment lay-off - Photo attached
Those of you who received dozens of forwarded emails every day will appreciate the following two contributions - the first was submitted (yes, via email) from retired budy Jim hill.
And thanks to retired buddy Tom Adams for sending us the following Email which I am now forwarding to all of you as instructed as I do not want to duck bird-poop or have to carry a hairy hump on my back.
Thank You, One and All !!!
I just want to thank all of you for your educational E-mails over the past year.
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
Can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. Can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the #1 past-time while driving alone is picking your nose. Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)
who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft
and AOL are sending me for participating in their special E-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to ALL YOUR EMAILS, you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if IFORWARD an E-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the
seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies !!!
If you don't send this E-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest
your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician ...
Have a wonderful day ...Oh, by the way ...
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their E-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Now let's get working on your creative retirement job - start your research here - (Go to URL)
May 25, 2008 - The Big Eight-O - Beautiful Dixie - Hollywood Squares
Last week I hit the big eight-O - that was one birthday party I never expected to attend.
When I hit the floor of that restaurant in Boston back in 87 and following the subsequent quadruple by-pass, the Docs told me the average time of either redo or the bright light was ten years.
Even my cardiologist shakes his head when I walk through the door - "Don't get many twenty year olds in here."
But, every day I think of my beautiful daughter Cindy who had so much more to offer than I ever did and who lost her valiant battle against cancer at the age of 49 - why her and not me - no answers -maybe when the executive producer calls me into the control room he'll explain..
However, here I am still plodding along, putting up websites and learning new stuff - travelling to unusual places and meeting interesting people while shooting video -and that I think is reason number three that I'm still operational - the computer, internet and video camera give me a reason to get out of bed every morning - I'm eager to get to work creating and learning - don't underestimate the power of the computer to keep you young - mentally anyway.
For the record, reason number one for me still being here is my best buddy - my wife - there is no way in hell I could of survived without her - I may bitch about her dolling out limited quantities of butter soaked pop corn while watching a hockey telecast and other culinary limitations but she is the CIC and I love her for putting up with me these past 57 years - as many of our friends frequently point out - "the poor woman deserves a medal".
Reason two -all the clot busting pills I pop every morning plus all the other medications prescribed by my Doctors - good guys - I think they are both amazed at what they have accomplished.
Now I have another reason and yes - another computerized reason - one of my birthday presents the kids gave me was a WII with the sport games - tennis -golf -bowling - boxing - what a blast - the wife and I challenge each other every afternoon - OK, so she's ahead at the moment - big deal - but we are so into this action that the kids are threatening to take the WII away from us - they're afraid we're going to kill ourselves.
I've never worked out like this in my life and when the rest of the family joins in and a wager is included - you would swear it was a war game.
So, as I enter my eighth decade, life is good - I'm one lucky senior citizen - if only Cindy had been there to help me blow out the candles.
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This next entry is for a friend who lives in Minnesota and who is an admirer of Hugh Laurie, the star of the TV series "House."
She was quite surprised to learn that Laurie is English and appeared in a series of English comedy shows one of which was the classic series "Blackadder" that starred Rowan Atkinson of "Mr. Bean" fame.
In this series Laurie played the foppish and dim witted Prince George with Atkinson as his conniving first minister - here's the other side of Doctor House
From the retirement news blog in-box:
Thanks to retired buddy Bernice Dini for sending this link about an area we look forward to visiting during our migration south each year - to see why, take this - Banjo Tour of Beautiful Dixie - opens new window.
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From retired buddy Linda Ardoino this blast from the past:
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes.
These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q.. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q.. According to Cosmopolitain, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING.
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Thanks to retired buddy Norma Lamphier who sent in the follow pictorial commentary
This explains a lot.......................
THIS IS INDIA. IT'S WHERE YOU CALL WHEN YOU HAVE A TECHNICAL PROBLEM WITH YOUR COMPUTER.
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My thanks to retired buddy Jim Hill for today's kicker - just to cover my butt, I check with another retired buddy who is a Newfie to see if I could get away with this and gave the OK so.........did you hear the one about the Newfie who was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. the next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds"
When the Newfie returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 pounds!
"Why, that's amazing but did you follow my instructions?"
"I'll tell you though! Lord tunderin Jaysus, I t'aut I were goin ta drop dead on dat 3rd day!"
"From the hunger, you mean?"
"No - from the skippin' ".
Let's get working on our creative retirement job and if you have a computer here's where to start - (Go to URL)
May 7, 2008 - Oil Choke Point - Printer Oil - Striped Icebergs
OK, although still valid reasons, for the moment let's forget the extra benefits of having a creative retirement job as listed on the Home Page - in this day an age the main reason to have a creative retirement job is simply to bring in enough extra cash to gas up the family car - and if you are a two car family you had better build a series of websites.
Talk about a media doom boom - check out this headline in this mornings Financial Post - Oil "choke point" Nears - what the hell is the oil choke point? Apparently, if the cost for a barrel of oil hits $150.00US the world economy goes to hell in a hand basket.
Well hello, here comes Choke Point Plus.
Some guy with Goldman Sachs Group Inc. gazed into his crystal ball the other day and announced to the world -"Crude oil may rise to between US$150 and US$200 a barrel within two years as growth in supply fails to keep pace with increased demand from developing nations and could slam growth in the United States and cause a rout in stocks."
Rudyard Griffiths writing in the National Post last Monday says there's a chance gas prices will come down in the short-term - but long term - hold on to your wallet and get yourself a Smart Car.
Griffiths gives the following reasons why we're heading for the choke point and beyond;
"Global demand for oil is fast outstripping supply."
"Global oil production has stagnated in recent years at approximately 87 million barrels per day."
"Declining output by some of the world's largest oil fields (e.g., onetime oil exporters such as Mexico are now importing gas)"
In the last 15 years, despite oil companies spending billions on exploration, only one new oil field with the potential to produce half a million barrels a day has been found."
"The large untapped reserves that have been discovered in recent years -- such as last summer's big strike off the coast of Brazil -- must be extracted from thousands of metres below the sea floor or by refining hundreds of millions of tons of oil sands. All such new oil reserves can be exploited profitably only at current, and in many cases higher, per-barrel prices".
"Compounding the global supply problem is the petro-nationalism of the major oil-producing nations such as Iran, Venezuela, Russia and Indonesia. These and other governments of big oil exporters are subsidizing the cost of petroleum for their citizens and domestic industries to strengthen their hold on power."
"The effect that oil-thirsty India and China will have on world energy demand. Asia's love affair with the automobile is beginning in earnest. And its overall population is growing. China, for instance, grows by an entire United Kingdom each year."
So, for all the reasons you should have a creative retirement job on the internet as listed on the Home Page add this incentive - gas for the car - start thinking Google ads, affiliate commissions, drop-shipping, product selling, eBay, whatever - and remember, if you work the net for extra cash you don't have to drive the car to get to the office and you can also work in you pajamas - start your research - Here (opens new window) or here - The Retirement Jobs Library (opens new window)
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Thanks to retired buddy Jim Hill for the following message:
"All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are....You will be really shocked by the last one!
(At least, I was...)
Think a gallon of gas is expensive? This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective."
Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ..........$9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 . $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ...... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ... $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ....... . $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon And this is the REAL KICKER...
Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source - (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)
Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?
So they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at - You won't believe it - $5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)
So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water - Scope -whiteout - Pepto-Bismol - Nyquil or, God forbid, Printer ink.
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Thanks to retired relative Joanne Raycraft for these amazing pictures:
Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of snow that react to different conditions.
Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet fills up with melted water and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form.
When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a green stripe.
Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.
Thanks to retired buddy Bernice Dini for today's kicker.
Enemies? Not me!
All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
' Mrs. Neely ?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly."Mrs. Neely , that is very unusual. How old are you?' 'Ninety-eight.' she replied. 'Oh, Mrs. Neely , would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?' The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:
'I outlived the bitches.'
Now let's get working on your gas revenue - start here - (Go to URL)
