January 5, 2010 - Normal Part of Aging - Boogie-Woogie - Old and Rich - Crazy Canucks
So here we are - new month, new year, but instead of looking forward, I’m looking back - 22 years back - to the days immediately following quad heart by-pass and when I walked my cracked open-then-wired sternum would shift in my chest with every tortured step - for several days I walked like a zombie who inhaled a bag of Acapulco red.
But this time the ticker, operating on at least six of eight cylinders is not the culprit - it’s my neck - with not a hint of approaching trouble - suddenly I couldn’t turn my head without causing sharp, stabbing pain that for me was a 12 on what my lady calls her "Men are such babies scale of one to ten" - you know the one I mean - the "give birth then talk to me about pain " scale.
So I hold still long enough for an X-ray and the medics inform me I’ve got DDD - degenerative disc disease - vertebrae 4, 5, 6, plus some arthritis thrown into the mix - the Doc tells me disc degeneration is a normal part of aging - I don’t remember getting that message when I signed up for my old age pension.
But the good news is that following a series of therapy sessions, plus popping nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory pills, I’m shuffling along at a slow but steady pace and pain on my lady’s scale of one to ten has slipped to a four - except on occasions like last week’s Vikings - Bears football game - a sporting event on which I had placed an ample no-line wager with a fellow football fan neighbour who has already paid his monthly rent with my money during the Christmas month.
I went large with the old quarterback for sentimental reasons - and he was leading his Vikes down the field to victory in overtime when his running back fumbled the ball and I jumped out of my chair with a curse and shout and was decked by a bolt of pain that even my lady’s pain scale couldn’t register.
Anyway, I’m still marching on in my eighth decade a tad slower perhaps with my head pivoting like a rusted bolt, but hell, it’s just a minor injury suffered in the fourth quarter of the game of life.
I relate all this because of an Email I received from my Maritime buddy Bill Mckay who attached a YouTube video that reminded me of how I was able to play the game in the first quarter.
As I pop another pain pill and painfully turn my head to look at this video I remember I could once move like this - Balmy Beach Canoe Club - Palace Pier - this is a then and now comparison - the normal part of aging.
Another "normal part of aging" item - this submitted by retired buddies Kathy and Craig Olson.
WHO SAYS WE'RE NOT RICH!!!
Silver in the Hair Gold in the Teeth. Sugar in the Blood. Lead in the Feet. Iron in the Arteries. And an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas.
I never thought I'd accumulate such wealth.
At the time of this writing, most of North America was covered with a frozen blanket - which is nothing new for Canadians of course - most of us just moan, bitch and bundle up. But there’s another group - a minority to be sure - who go to extremes to earn the title of a Crazy Canucks - my thanks to Carrie Van Loon for sening me this video.
The last of the "normal part of aging" items - thanks to retired buddy Dan Dominski for sending me this - Observations on Growing Older
Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them but your grandchildren are perfect! Going out is good - Coming home is better! When people say you look "Great" - then they add "for your age!" When you needed the discount you paid full price - Now you get discounts on everything - movies, hotels, flights.
You forget names ... but it's OK - because other people forgot they even knew you!!! The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds. You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf.
Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don't remember. The things you cared to do, you don't care to do, but you care that you don't care to do them anymore.
Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed - It's called his "pre-sleep". Remember when your mother said
"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident! You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married - Now, "I hope they STAY married!"
You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch. When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table. You use more 4 letter words - "what?"..."when?" ??? Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. Your husband has a night out with the guys but he's home by 9:00 P.M. ...next week it will be 8:30 P.M. You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it. Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!> What used to be freckles are now liver spots - Everybody whispers. Now that your husband has retired - you'd give anything if he'd find a job!
You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet - 2 of which you will never wear.
But old is good in some things: old songs old movies
And best of all OLD FRIENDS!!
Now let’s working on building a creative retirement - (Go to URL)
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January 18, 2010 - The Laughing Heart - Take the Quiz - Dust If You Must - Taps
Whoever said "laughter is the best medicine" never had gonorrhea. ~Kat Likkel and John Hoberg, My Name Is Earl
It started out as just another day - nothing on the schedule of any great importance - I wasn’t fired up to do anything special - a ho-hum morning.
Then I received a phone call from a retired buddy and we chatted about this and that - no headline revelations - no obituaries to update - just the usual guys-getting-on-in-age conversation which ended with him telling me a joke he heard the day before.
He’s a great storyteller and when he hit the punch line I laughed so hard I nearly dropped the phone - my laugh was more of an eruption - uncontrollable fall about laughter - as someone once noted - " Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense."
I wish I could relay the joke here but I think not - it was the type of bawdy humour best told in a controlled environment like a longshoreman’s locker room.
Anyway, for the rest of the day I was eager to retell it to anyone who would stand still long enough to wait for the punch line and in all case but one, I was rewarded with hearty, from-the-gut guffaws which in turn set me off on another laughing fit. The one telling that earned only an embarrassed giggle was when I told the joke to a female neighbour who almost daily sends me naughty, x-rated emails. Apparently, face-to-face joke telling is not politically correct, but computer generated lewd and rude is OK.
But back to the laughing part. The point here is, with each laugh, my day brightened - I was a young man - I felt good about myself and everything around me - the positives erased any negatives that tried to creep into my day.
I have to laugh more if for no other reason than to keep my ticker ticking. I Googled for more information on the importance of laughter in one’s life and found that laughter, along with an active sense of humour, may help protect you against a heart attack, according to a study by cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore.
Michael Miller, M.D., F.A.C.C., director of the Center for Preventive Cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center noted
"The old saying that 'laughter is the best medicine,' definitely appears to be true when it comes to protecting your heart. We don't know yet why laughing protects the heart, but we know that mental stress is associated with impairment of the endothelium, the protective barrier lining our blood vessels. This can cause a series of inflammatory reactions that lead to fat and cholesterol build-up in the coronary arteries and ultimately to a heart attack,"
Dr. Miller says it may be possible to incorporate laugher into our daily activities, just as we do with other heart-healthy activities, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
"We could perhaps read something humorous or watch a funny video and try to find ways to take ourselves less seriously," Dr. Miller says. "The recommendation for a healthy heart may one day be -- exercise, eat right and laugh a few times a day."
So think of all the email jokes that swamp your inbox every day as prescription forms - better than popping pills.
Here’s another great quote from W.H.Auden:
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love I can: all of them make me laugh"
Thanks to daughter Brenda who suggested I pass this on to the ladies who may read this journal.
Life is Short - Enjoy it
Dust if you must
-but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake cookies or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?!
Dust if you must
… but there's not much time . . . . with beer to drink , rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.
Dust if you must,
but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around, again.
Dust if you must ,
but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind. . . And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
A follow-up to the last Blog entry - Re: Boogie Woogie - and the item about my dancing capabilities then and now - an interesting article in the London Times under the headline - Old Men make the Best Dancers.
They call it "Dad Dancing the phenomenon in which middle aged men appal their families by strutting their stuff on the dance floor many have evolutionary explanation, a new survey suggests.
When Dr. Peter Lovatt, a psychologist from the University of Hertfordshire, asked 14,000 people to rate their self-assurance as dancers, he found that male confidence rises steadily between ages 16 to 30.
After that, it remains about the same for three decades. Then, at around 60, it suddenly soars.
He speculates that aging men make their flamboyant dance moves subconsciously to repel young women, and thereby leave the field clear for men who are at the peak of fertility." -Ya right.
The study suggests that female dancing confidence plummets during and after menopause.
One more item from the Times written by David Aaronovitch - "After Richard Reid tried to ignite his shoe over the Atlantic, we all had to remove our footwear before we were allowed on the plane. The bomb threat of 06 led to a liquids ban. Now that someone has tried to ignite his underpants above Detroit, one can only imagine the consequences."
Now, from laughter to tears - many thanks to retired buddy Bill Jessome for sending me this video with the following message - "The conductor of the orchestra is Andre Rieu from Austria. The young lady, her trumpet and her rendition of TAPS Is wonderful.
Many of you may never have heard taps played in its entirety. (I certainly haven't and have been unaware of the uncut version.)
This is an opportunity you won't want to miss and I guarantee you'll never forget."
Want to make extra retirement money? Start here - (Go to URL)
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