February 4, 2008 - Favourite Super Spots - The Happiness Curve - The Georgia Pot Lickers
Ok, before we get to the main material - here are the results of my family's - plus guests - annual voting for the best super bowl commercials.
Our super bowl party was a mix of senior-seniors and not-yet-ready-for-retirement types so it was somewhat of a surprise when it ended in a tie for first place between - Bud Light and Etrade
My first place vote went to Budweiser's Rocky - who ended up in second place in the overall voting.
Dr. Sherry Cooper, the 57-year-old Canadian-American chief economist for BMO Capital Markets, warns Canadians that the "enormous wave of boomer retirees will crest in 2025," and strain pension and health-care systems of both Canada and the United States.
Here's the part that caught my eye - Cooper says Boomers will not retire in the traditional sense but will choose to work at a more personally fulfilling occupation for fewer hours a week.
She calls it - creative semi-retirement.
Cooper, the native of Baltimore, Md., now based in Toronto, says - "Work provides more than just a paycheque. It regiments your days - the most important thing is that people remain active and live a lifestyle with purpose." - hello creative retirement job
Cooper predicts that a good number of boomers will become self-employed, possibly turning their hobbies into personal businesses and giving themselves more flexibility.
And that, dear friends, is my sales sermon for today.
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This next item, contributed by my retired buddy and southern next door neighbour Tom Adams, is only for readers over the age of 60. - If that's you, Click here - turn up the volume - and sing along.
A message from the Ya Ya Sisters
Remember that B.B.King classic - Let the good times roll:
Hey everybody, let's have some fun
You only live for once And when you're dead you're done So let the good times roll, let the good times roll.
That rocker popped in my head as I was reading about a recent study conducted by economists Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick in England and David Blanchflower of Dartmouth College in New Hampshire - who set out to look at the relationship between age and happiness.
They surveyed more than 2-million people in 80 countries, including the United States and Canada and found that happiness, over the course of a lifetime, follows a path where the greatest bliss occurs at the beginning and end of life, while middle age is a downer.
The researchers found that in the United States, happiness reached its lowest point around age 40 in women and age 50 in men. In the United Kingdom, unhappiness was its deepest in men and women at age 44 - the story didn't have Canadian figures.
Oswald says it was possible that in midlife people learn to accept their strengths and weaknesses, and abandon unrealistic aspirations.
Another possibility, he said, is that cheerful people live longer, driving the curve higher. Another explanation is that older people learn to count their blessings as their peers die.
This story also included a comment from Richard Easterlin, an economist at the University of Southern California who also studies happiness. He said midlife misery is not inevitable. His research shows that when factors such as income and marital status are included in the calculations, midlife is the happiest stage of life. Finances and family life tend to improve as midlife approaches and, after that, things gradually get worse.
So who do you believe - who cares - many factors determine happiness - regardless of age - it's the folks with the mental and moral strength to face whatever is thrown at them that maintain a steady happiness level.
One more about folks who refuse to be counted out - there's a story here in Florida about a real estate speculator who had built a property portfolio of more than twenty million dollars - but as you may have heard - Florida real estate has tanked and he was unable to make his mortgage payments
But, instead of throwing in the towel, he started looking around for a new business - and one day while touring the up-market, ocean front condo area - he realized that these units have huge windows to take in the view - and every day, the ocean spray
would deposit a layer of salt on those windows - hindering the view - Bingo - he decided to offer a window cleaning service catering exclusively to well-to-do property owners, on a subscription basis.
Within six months he had built a $400,00 window cleaning business - doing the job others didn't want to do.
Find a need and fill it - even better if your customers are people who have money.
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In my last entry I was mentioning my new found interest in bluegrass music which I discovered by a chance click while on a web tour.
The other day I was web wandering in search of some free public domain music I could use in a video production I'm working on when again, by chance, I was taken to a site hosted by a guy in California who's net handle is "Public Domain 4U" - and discovered - are you ready for this - The Georgia Pot Lickers - how great a band name is that?
"Public Domain 4U" offered up the public doman recording of the The Georgia Pot Lickers and their recording of - Chicken Don't Roost Too High with the following intro:
"I would wager this was not the work of sober men. The cackles and hoots and clucks are not overdubs, children, they didn't have multi-track in those days and they sure aint had no Pro-Tools. This went down as you hear it, just a few grown men with their musical instruments, havin' a ball with finger lickin' old time pickin'"
Retired buddies Kathy and Craig sent me an Email with an audio clip that was featured on a Toronto radio station - and small world - it was CHUM FM - I was the sport director for CHUM back in the early 70's and I hired Rick Hodge, a great guy and talent, who is the Rick of the Roger, Rick and Marilyn - hosts of the most popular radio morning show in TO>
Anyway, K and C's Email message was as follows:
"This accident happened in the Dallas - Ft. Worth area and you must listen to it. It is a phone call from a man who witnesses a car accident involving four elderly women. It was so popular when they played it on CHUM FM that they had to put it on their website.
The guy's laugh is contagious. If you close your eyes and picture what he is watching, it is even better than a video clip!
Jerome Weeks recently wrote an informative article in the National Post headlined - This is your brain on Drugs - a new genre of books argues we should stop listening to Prozac.
Flashback to the early nineties when the black cloud of depression darkened my world and forced me into retirement.
As Weeks points out this was the era called - "the age of Prozac, a decade when a class of antidepressants called SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) came to dominate both psychological treatment and public discussion about why life in America had become such a downer.
After Prozac's approval by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration in 1987, some 80 million new prescriptions for antidepressants were written in the next 10 years."
My slide down the slippery slope was picking up speed so the shrink had me pop yet another pill - this one put me into never-never-land and caused internal bleeding - no problem - we'll change him to another pill and see how that works - the quick fix.
Finally, the family agreed enough was enough - we poured all the pills in the toilet - with guidance from a new professional, we would beat this mother ourselves - and we did - wasn't easy - no way I could have accomplished the turnaround on my own - family power pulled off the victory.
But now, thankfully, times are changing - Weeks reports - "A recent volley of books represents more than an attack on our current over reliance on drug therapy to treat depression.
They rip into the massive sales of the drug companies, dispute the medical thinking behind doping the populace and question whether the antidepressant advocates understand depression, happiness or the human mind.
What happened in the '90s wasn't an epidemic of the blues or just a new biomedical discovery taking hold.
In Charles Barber's compelling new book, Comfortably Numb: How Psychiatry is Medicating a Nation, the author contends that we underwent a major shift in attitudes toward mental illness and medications.
Depression was redefined and popularized; the use of psychotropic drugs was greatly expanded to include what might be termed "personality repair."
I should also point out that the authours of these new journals are not opposed to antidepressants per se - properly prescribed, some will work.
But as Weeks writes - "Better informing patients about what they're getting into certainly is possible, as well as combining antidepressants with counselling, one of the most effective options."
As noted in the opening page of the Positive Thinking Stories chapter on the home website in the battle against depression, professional help is important depending on who the pro is - remember - "Better informing patients about what they're getting into" is vital and if you're not comfortable - move on.
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This pic from retired buddy Jim Hill with the following notation - "For those of you who find critters as remarkable as I do . . . . . meet Cashew the Lab, and her seeing eye cat, Libby - Aren't animals the nicest folks! ? ?
Retired buddy Bill Ozard sent the following message:
"Some thoughts on the eve of my 70th birthday( not original but worth repeating)"
A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (Very important. It never fails.)
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well... Just get up and dance.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11. (pls note)
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep inside, we all believe that we are above average drivers.
Your friends love you anyway.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
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And thanks to retired buddy Bernice Dini for today's kicker -
TAKING A WOMAN TO BED
What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ?
At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???
Now let's get to work on your creative retirement job - take time in the retirement jobs library - (Go to URL)
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February 11, 2008 - The Greek - Positive Quotes - Perk-Up Smells - Fun Stuff
I would like to start off the week by raising my glass of OJ to salute John Proies who lives here in Florida - everyone calls him "the Greek" - including himself.
The Greek is not retired but still working at his job of grinding glass lenses - very exacting work that demands precise measurements and his boss - a young 40 year old - calls him one of his most valuable employees.
The Greek is 90 years old.
So why hasn't he packed it in to live the Florida retirement lifestyle - "I love the precision and the competition - I'm competing against myself."
The Greek looks after himself - he quit smoking 25 years ago - "One day I was in the garage and I got a pain and I says, 'Greek, don't be stupid." And I took them cigarettes and smashed them in my hand and that was it."
He only pops a baby Asprin a day - walks on a treadmill for 15 minutes three time a week and does arm exercises with two four pound weights.
The Greek says his work is everything, especially now that he's alone - his wife ("She looked like Rita Hayworth") passed away about 10 years ago.
"I love my work" says the Greek "it's very intriguing - the work is so close and when I get it right, I feel so good"
And speaking of positive people - I'm working on a series of videos to post on YouTube, Google and others as a promotion piece for the home website - this is the first.
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day Margaret and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi - he glared at me and began writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So Margaret called him a Scrooge. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We'd come into town by bus.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.
As mention in a previous entry - this is the time of year that we snowbirds are invaded - and happily so - by family and friends from the north, eager to escape the bone chilling winds of winter - even 10 to 14 days of sunshine and warmth can rejuvenate the body and mind of those who are regularly snowbound and snarly in the early months of the year.
Those who drive are usually motivated to keep on truckin' as long as they can keep their eyes open and that can lead to trouble - however, I picked up this driving tip on the web - get the right smell in your car .
Simulated-driving tests indicated that if you use air diffuser for your car -- one that plugs into the cigarette lighter and has essential-oil inserts - a whiff of cinnamon every 15 minutes decreased fatigue and adding some peppermint to the mix boosted alertness.
The researchers also suggest that chewing a stick of cinnamon gum can help keep you alert.
One other driving tid-bit - those people who claim that using a hand free headset for the cell phone is a safe way to drive - bull pucks - a recent study shows that talking on the phone while driving increases people's reaction times even when they use hands-free devices - you have to wonder these cell phone drivers - if they have a death wish, so be it - it's the innocents they take out they don't think about.
Back to the smells - when you "gotta git 'er done" and old brain is a tad sluggish - the scent of peppermint can help you focus - so grab a candy cane, chew a stick of peppermint gum, or inhale the scent of mint-infused oil.
Today's kicker from a new contributor - not-yet-retired Sharon Raycraft - who must know how much I enjoy Jeff Foxworthy's routine - Sharon shares the - Brand new edition of... 'You know you're a redneck when......"
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
ou can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it
You think 'The Nutcracker' is a vice on the work bench .
The Salvation Army declines your furniture
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Now lets get working on your creative retirement job - start your research here - (Go to URL)
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February 14, 2008 - Ladies Purses - Sing-along - Longevity Tips - White Moose
To the female readers of this biweekly journal - I mean no harm and I don't mean to dull the glow of Valentine's day and please don't fire off a series of hostile Emails - I'm just a guy who is curious about a female trait that drives me up the wall - practically when I'm trying to make a last second bet at the dog track as was the case yesterday afternoon.
I've asked the CIC about this but she only gives me her "men are such idiots" look and verbally works me over by saying I should not have waited so long to make the bet in the first place - logical perhaps in most cases but not at the track while your waiting for the barn bets to come in.
Here's how it went down - a lady - advanced in years - made her bet - received her ticket - and stayed planted while she put her change into a mini wallet in her purse - a simple maneuver that took several minutes because some of the change fell into the purse and she felt it was vital that the change - safe enough in the purse - just had to be in the mini wallet.
And did she move a half step to the side to allow the rest of us to complete our wagers before the rabbit was released? No flipping way - not until a guy, two back of me - pleaded with her with - "Come lady, the puppies ain't goin' to wait." - I think he was crying.
Well, the puppies didn't wait and to add salt to the wound after the race I witnessed the dear soul cash in a winning ticket and again, just stand there as she stuffed the bills into the wallet that deep in the purse.
I claim that this is not an isolated case - I have noticed this "change in the purse" behaviour before with other females - in the supermarket as an example.
Rather than move to the end of the isle or in front of the bagging area to complete the purse move so the next customer can move into position and the cashier can start zapping the goods - the gals will stand - firmly planted in front of the cashier while they complete the change in the purse or the credit card in the wallet tactic - and God help you if the purse is one of those "I can-pack-for-the weekend" size purses.
Guys on the other hand just grab the change and stuff it in their pocket - as they are walking away - and thereby I think, lies the answer - guys are anxious to get out of a store - women on the other hand, hate to leave a store - and the habit is so ingrained that it carries over to other venues - like the dog track.
Ladies - we love you - but please - move the hell out of the way after receiving your change - many thanks and Happy Valentines day.
Retired southern neighbour Dan Dombroski sends in this link with the notation - "It's been around a while but it's time for another good laugh" - agreed - the lyrics are supplied so sing-along.
Those of us fortunate to be in the land of greyhounds and swaying palm trees have been bombarded lately by phone calls from family and friends back home to inform us that while we are complaining about high humidity, they are shoulder deep in snow with temperatures low enough to freeze the hands of a brass monkey.
They tell me that my birth city of Toronto received more snow in one day than it did all last winter.
Not -yet-retired buddy Bill McKay send me this video of how the Toronto weather played out on television -
God willin' and the creek don't rise, I will hit the big eight-oh in three months and five days and if I'm to believe the research - and I do - 80 is the new 60 and that's exactly how I feel - most days - I have to admit sometimes I feel in the low 70's but overall I sure as hell don't feel 80.
Mark Stibich, Ph.D. writing about longevity, warns that we can't let up - you must maintain what he calls a Longevity To-Do List.
I have to be up front about this - I'm having a hard time working number one but I'm fairly solid with 2 thru 9.
Here's Mark Stibich's longevity list:
Healthy Eating:Eat as many antioxidants as you can. Why? These substances, found in plants, provide the raw material your body needs to make repairs and prevent damage.
Don't Miss a ScreeningSimple enough - screenings can save your life.
Be 100% AdherentFollow Doctor's orders - "Do not stop taking medications on you own - dangerous move - but don't go changing doses, taking breaks and stopping your medications."
Get off Your Butt. - "The more you move, the more energy and health you will have. Make movement a part of every day. You can do formal exercise or just get out and walk."
See Friends, Protect your Brain: "Seeing your friends can protect your brain. Older adults who reported less loneliness were more likely to have healthy, well-functioning brains year later. Why is this? Our brains are stimulated by people (much more so than by crossword puzzles)."
Ask for Help: "When you are not feeling well, need some extra help or are just going through a bad day; having friends and family nearby can really help."
Keep a Good Sleep Schedule: "All adults, regardless of age, need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep every night. As you age, you may find yourself sleeping less than that -- but this is because of sleep challenges, not changes in sleep needs. Illnesses (like high blood pressure), medication side effects and bad habits (like napping too long or watching TV in bed) combine to make sleep a challenge for the older adult. Spend a week or two focusing on improving your sleep habits and see if you don't start feeling younger."
Work Your Brain: "Don't let your brain get bored. If your days are too routine and predictable, your brain is just going to start "tuning out." Curiosity is one of the best ways to prevent that. Become engaged in the world around you, make changes in your daily routine and find something you are passionate about - if you can find something interesting, then your brain will be more likely to age well."
Create New Stories:" Stories are a fundamental way your brain processes the world. Taking a moment and telling rich, creative stories is a great brain work-out ........ spending time on this will keep your brain sharp and your relationships strong."
Remember to work on Memory:"Your memory needs exercise too just like your curiosity - do a memory "work-out" every day."
Semi retired buddy Bill Ozard sends in this picture with the notation - "My boss's neighbour went to Two Hills, Alberta this past weekend to check on his cabin. This is what he saw in his backyard! Quite amazing."
Thanks to retired buddy Bernice Dini for today's kicker:
A 3rd grader asked her mother the age-old question, 'How did I get here?
Her mother told her, 'God sent you.' 'Did God send you, too?' asked the child. Yes, Dear,' the mother replied.
'What about Grandma and Grandpa?' the child persisted. 'He sent them also,' the mother said. 'Did he send their parents, too?' asked the child.
'Yes, Dear, He did,' said the mother patiently.
'So you're telling me that there has been NO sex in this family for 200 years? No wonder everyone's so damn grouchy around here'
Now let's get to work on your creative retirement job - (Go to URL)
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February 18, 2008 - The Foreign Fact Finders - Thank your Ernie - Fun and Frightening Videos
I have only been shot at twice in my life - both incidents where in foreign lands.
The first time was in the 70's - I was organizing a new radio news service for independent radio stations and my News Director, Bert Cummings and I traveled to Cyprus to report on Canadian UN peacekeepers, who along with contingents from Finland, Ireland, Sweden, and the United Kingdom were positioned along the "Green Line" - a strip of no man's land that separated Turk and Greek Cypriots
After hearing some shots fired near our hotel we decided go out alone to see if we could find out what was going on. We drove our car - painted with a wide white stripe and huge TV letters on the sides and roof through dark, narrow streets.
We heard some action near one of widest parts of the neutral zone - we parked and just as we closed the car doors - suddenly, loud shouting and rapid fire shots - I dove under the car - Bert tried but he was too big to fit -he huddled behind the car - I remember the two of us hysterically screaming "press- press- press" - I tried to start my tape recorder but my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't hit the record/play buttons at the same time - it was not a Bruce Willis moment.
Then all went quiet for what seemed a lifetime - unexpectedly, a collection of army boots surrounded the car - a hand reached under and grabbed my leg and I was dragged out, scrapped, bloody and scared poopless - Bert was now standing with both arms high in the air.
We had approached a Turk outpost - they claimed later, they had only fired warning shots in the air, not at us - OK, we weren't going to argue or point to the bullet hole in the car's right fender.
As soon as they were satisfied we were who we claimed to be - they invited us to their sandbagged bunker and gave us food, drinks and a great interview.
The second time, was while on assignment for the TV station I worked for in Boston.
With a Canadian passport, and flying out of Canada - I was able to take part in a media junket hosted by the Iranian Government who wanted the world press to cover their side of the war with Iraq - they felt Saddam was receiving too much favourable press and they were being portrayed as the bad guys - figure that one out.
Travelling out of Tehran at night by air and bus they took us up to the front lines - it was like a scene out of the world war one movie "All Quiet on the Western Front" - barren landscape - splintered trees - long lines of trenches inhabited by dirty, dull-eyed, half clothed soldiers who's only company was each other and the dead Iraqi bodies ignored and left lying in the sand - I wondered if they were left there for our benefit.
There was no shooting when we arrived - the only sounds were the muted conversations of the soldiers and the squawks of the vultures - soon to be interrupted by the voices of the TV reporters who were taping their stand-ups.
We set up our camera in an artillery bunker with a burned-out tank in the background. I had just finished my first take when we heard - what to me was more or a splat than an explosion - what the hell was that? - then another - and another.
Iraq artillery had spotted the party - I remember Pat Marsden of CTV yelling "Let's get the hell out of here" and we all ran for the battered, old, pick-up trucks the Iranians had provided for transportation - my cameraman, also from CTV - I'm ashamed to say I can't remember his name - kept his camera running and I now have video of our run to safety - shells exploding all around us as we bounced in the back of the pick-up - and there I am with a look on my face that could be used as a poster shot for the word - fear.
As a news gatherer I found my niche - home - sitting at an anchor desk - safe and sound - I would never have lasted in foreign service - those gallant and dedicated correspondents, who risk their lives to give us the facts are a rare and special breed.
Also this month, the release of a picture of one of the most gifted of foreign correspondents - Ernie Pyle.
Here is an excerpt from the Associated Press story about the death photo:
... Ernie Pyle was not just any reporter. . . . Pyle riveted the nation with personal, straight-from-the-heart tales about hometown soldiers in history's greatest conflict ...
In April 1945 .. . the Army's 77th Infantry Division landed on le Shima, a small island off Okinawa, to capture an airfield. (On April 18)... a jeep carrying Pyle and three officers came under fire from a hidden machine gun.
All scrambled for cover in roadside ditches, but when Pyle raised his head, a .30 caliber bullet caught him in the left temple, killing him instantly.
(Army photographer) Alexander Roberts ... (was) at a command post 300 yards away. ... Roberts went to the scene, and, despite continuing enemy fire, crept forward - a "laborious, dirt-eating crawl," he later called it - to record the scene with his Speed Graphic camera.
Roberts' photograph, however, was never seen by the public. He told (a Pyle biographer) that the War Department had withheld it "out of deference" to Ernie's ailing widow, Jerry.
"I love the infantry because they are the underdogs. They are the mud-rain-frost-and-wind boys. They have no comforts, and they even learn to live without the necessities. And in the end they are the guys that wars can't be won without."
My thanks to retired buddy Tom Adams for this quickie:
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?''
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 'I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.''
Yesterday, I went on a video tour on YouTube - not a planned tour - one video just led to the other.
I started by checking out "Positive Thinking" in the YouTube search engine to check on one of my videos - amazing - over 4,000 views - but the video at the top of the page was a closing act of the old British comedy show - Morecambe and Wise - and that led me to search British Humour and the following video
I don't know how you feel about Brit Humour - but I love it -and this one broke me up.
A typical Brit bureaucrat trying to brief a new government Minister.
Apparently, the folks at YouTube think British and Canadian humour are the same thing - not - however, from the above I was led to a Canadian comedian that I hadn't heard before - Derek Edwards - funny stuff - unfortunately, these clips are too short - here's his introduction.
One more from Derek - a bit that goes back a few years about the mad cow scare in Alberta.
Here's one you might find interesting - as well as putting you off flying forever.
Thanks to retired buddy Jim Hill for today's kicker:
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up with nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked - I'm here to feed the alligator."
Some old men can still think fast.
Now let's get to work on your creative internet retirement job - start here - (Go to URL)
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February 21, 2008 - Camcorders, Digital Cameras and Pianos - Golf Fantasy -Good News, Bad News
I'm off on another creative retirement job journey and, I thought that if you have a camcorder, a digital camera or can play a musical instrument, you might be interested in taking the same trip
This assignment will not only get you outdoors and offer a creative challenge - but can also, over the long haul - bring in a yet another retirement revenue source - not big time money - but perhaps enough to pay the monthly green fees.
Over the past weeks, while working on my video projects, I have searched various sites looking for video footage, still pictures and background music. (to give you an idea of a clip I purchased - take a look at the opening footage on my Positive Quotes video embedded in the February 11, 2008 Blog entry.)
Finally the bulb lit up - why not produce my own video footage and still shots and sell it while here in Florida - some interesting possibilities - beaches - nature shots - swamps - rain and thunder storms - agriculture - traffic jams - parachute jumping - the list is long.
In most cases, uploading is free - prices for your video ranges from 15 bucks for ten seconds of video and go up into the hundreds depending how unique your clip is - the site handles all the paper work and sends you your share of the proceeds.
Do your research - be sure you know the site's rules and regulations.
I mentioned music beds - I can't even play the kazoo so you'll have to do your own research - but again, musical themes are in high demand.
One of the reasons I'm going to give this a shot was an item I read on the forums at creativecow.net - Mellissa Smith wrote last month that she has been selling stock media for over a year and she has almost reach the point where she can make a full time salary. Also Melissa uses only one site and it turns out its the same one I have been using to buy my video footage, pictures and music - Revostock.com - so when I'm ready, I'll be doing the same - I feel comfortable as a buyer so it should fit as a seller.
Here's what Melissa wrote:
" I upload mostly to Revostock.com. They had the easiest and most hassle free upload/approval system of any of the major sites. They also have a wonderful producer community and their technical support is excellent.
Their royalty rates are 45% for a non-exclusive clip and 60% for an exclusive clip-- you can choose your exclusivity on a clip by clip basis too!
Check out their forums-- they recently had several producers say why they love their site and one of them mentions how much he takes in each month from the site.
You can sell audio files and After Effects projects there too if you have them!"
So, dust off the camcorder, digital camera and tripod and off you go for a truly inspiring retirement job - you musicians - start composing.
Start with some research - take a tour of Revostock.com - footage, music and sound FX all in one place.
The CIC and I went golfing with friends last week and, as usual down here this time of year, there was a long line up at the first tee - and that makes me extremely nervous - my golf game is, on most occasions, a comedy act and so it was on this day.
The CIC belts one right down the middle, as did both companions - I get up and ding one about 105 yards- the ball ricochets off a palm tree on the right - zooms onto another fairway and bounces to the feet of an old guy who was lining up his chip shot to the green.
As I bent down to retrieve my untouched tee, I glanced over to the line up of golf carts and I could see everyone trying to hide their amusement - damn fool game.
This embarrassment was relived this morning, during a conversation with my son - we were both online discussing a video production we're working on and as we toured Google video and comparing notes, we stumbled across what, for me, is my new golf fantasy.
Wouldn't it be great if - just once - I could tee up in front of the first tee lineup and perform as Fred Astaire did back in 1938, in the movie "carefree" - just the golf club swings - I couldn't move like that even if I was on fire.
Thanks to the internet, we can now scan various newspapers around the world and in doing so you can pick up some interesting stuff - some good -some bad - but all interesting.
Example - did you know that as of September 2007, in great Britain, their secret service is tracking some 2,000 individuals, 200 terrorist networks and 30 active plots, plus a significant number of sympathizers?
Recently five terrorists were convicted in Britain for organizing shipments of militarily useful equipment to extremist groups in Pakistan and Afghanistan.
But get this bit - The leader of the cell, Parviz Khan, was taped by the security service spooks, outlining his plan to kidnap a British Army soldier in Birmingham and film the soldier's decapitation in a bid to terrorize the public and harm Army morale - a not just any Brit soldier - but a British Muslim soldier.
One can only imagine what the investigation count is on this side of the pond - like the man said - we are at war.
Another item - Ruth Stafford Peale, the widow of author and minister Norman Vincent Peale, died last Wednesday at her home in Pawling, N.Y.
Ruth Peale, who was 101, was called the "first lady of positive thinking" after her husband wrote the best-selling book "The Power of Positive Thinking".
Norman Vincent Peale died in 1993 - they had been married for 63 years.
Another interesting tid bit from a French Newspaper - Scientists in France are close to developing a system that will use raindrops to generate electricity - " to build a rain energy harvesting system, the important part is to estimate the recoverable energy during the impact.
When a raindrop impacts a surface, it produces a perfectly inelastic shock. The amount of energy generated by the impact can then be estimated using a mechanical-electric model.
The group experimented with raindrops of different sizes, falling heights, and speeds. They found that slow falling raindrops generate the most energy because raindrops falling at high speeds often lose some energy due to splash."
We had a rain storm here last week that would have lit up Utah.
And finally, from the China Post - Taipei, Taiwan -- "A young mechanic, Wang Chi-sheng, is suspected of stealing a urinal sensor, which he said he planned to use to modify a Mercedes Benz car.
Wang has been accused of trespassing for entering a closed-down gas station restroom and stealing the heat sensors used on the urinals.
The Taiwan Mercedes' technicians department said the young man's scheme was "unbelievable," commenting that "the probability of successfully using a sensor from a public urinal to replace special factory-made sensors was and remains zero."
Who says Today's Kids aren't smart ?? Well, some of them are!!! )
At a high School in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school.
They let three goats loose in the school.
Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats. 1, 2, 4.
Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.
I received a number of Email follow-ups concerning the Mississippi Squirrel Revival music video I posted earlier - my thanks to all who sent me the original video by Ray Stevens.
Thanks to retired buddy Bernice Dini for the following Gentle Thoughts for Today--
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper - It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL."
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it - the older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft - Today, it's called golf
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN..!!
And while on the subject of growing older - did you hear the one about the 80 year old retired guy who came home one day and was greeted by his 75 year old wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. - 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went golfing.
Now lets research that creative retirement job idea of selling footage - pictures and music - start here - (Go to URL)
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February 25, 2008 - Movie Night - Monday Blahs - Picture Warning - The Wooden Bowl
As a flick fan, I look forward to the Oscars - but maybe I've watched too many - last night's telecast was, for me, as interesting as watching Harrison Ford reading Shakespeare - I guess the writers are still rusty - besides I miss Billy Crystal as MC.
My pick list was holding up fairly well until Best Actress - I had Julie Christie in my Oscar pool so Marion Cotillard was a surprise, but a pleasant one - she was outstanding in her portrayal of French singer Edith Piaf in La Vie en Rose.
Another worthy win was Diablo Cody for writing (Original Screenplay) - for Juno - no-one will argue that one.
Her win reminded me of a famous Hollywood quote. Back in the days when movies ruled the entertainment world - producer Irving Thalberg once remarked - "The writer is the most important person in Hollywood, but we must never tell the sons of bitches."
However, times have changed - screenwriters are still important obviously, but today, they are controlled and subdued by the power of producers, number crunchers, spoiled stars and other assorted studio suits who manipulate and massacre the original idea in the hope for a bigger profit - mass audience is the target - money rules.
This leads me to recommend to all movie fans, a new book that gives a revealing inside look at how movies are developed - or not developed - from first idea to final cut.
Screen Plays: How 25 scripts Made it to a Theatre Near You - For Better of Worse - by David Cohen - it will help answer the question you sometime have when coming out a movie theatre - "What the hell was that all about?"
Have you seen the commercial - I can't remember the product - that shows a horde of people in their pajamas and other sorts of early morning apparel - rushing out of their homes in an attempt to stop Monday morning from dawning?
Every time I see that spot I cringe at the very idea - sure it's easy for me say today , I'm retired - but even back in my working days I was able to welcome Mondays - I was blessed with that kind of job.
However, a few years back, while standing with a group of people at a motivational meeting, I was reminded that facing Mondays is not just a "job" thing - that's just one small part of the big picture - it's how you look and feel about yourself and the world around you - basking in the positive.
If you are having a Monday morning mood moment - take a minute to look at this slide show and I would like to thank retired buddy Dan Dombroski for sending this - It's a wonderful World" - opens new window - This is a PowerPoint Presentation - if you don't have a viewer, you can download a FREE copy here
I would like to thank retired buddy Linda Ardoino for the following pic - in my last entry, I was mentioning that selling your video and still pictures on the internet would be an interesting and creative retirement job - and it can - but I didn't warn you that when you take your pictures there are certain basic rules you must follow - such as - always use a tripod and take the time to study your surroundings - before you take your pic or video.
Here's an example that Linda forwarded: - look at the picture below - It's a copy of an eBay listing - the question - How can you tell this table is being sold by a man?
This table was for sale on eBay.
How can you tell it is being sold by a man?
Can you solve this little riddle?
OK, Look in the mirror - Remember, if you are posting a picture on the world-wide web - WEAR CLOTHES when taking the picture.
While surfing YouTube - I cam across this video - I don't know why - but I found it fascinating:
Whowever sent me this - my thanks - but I erased the Email before recording the credit - I apologize - but this is a worthy read:
The Tale of the Wooden Bowl
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
'We must do something about father,' said the son - 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.
When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded - 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.
The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless.
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles five things:
A rainy day
the elderly
Waiters and Waitresses
Lost luggage
Tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life.
My thanks to retired buddy Jim Hill for today's kicker - Bear in a Bar
A bear walks into a bar in Billings , Montana . He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in
bars in Billings ." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to
belligerent bears in bars in Billings ." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."
The bear goes to the end of the bar and, as promised, eats the woman - he comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
The bartender says, "You are now - that was a barbitchyouate."
Now lets get to work on our creative retirement job - start here - (Go to URL)
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February 28, 2008 - Calorie Alert - A Better Day Tomorrow - Are You Smarter than an Eighth Grader?
During the last couple of days, while researching a new video project, I was led to some
interesting websites - one of which took all the fun out of eating out at some of my favourite haunts.
First, as my family and friends will unanimously agree - I should intro all of this by mentioning I am anything but an authority on fine foods - strictly a meat and potato kind of guy - well done - burn it actually - and put plenty of butter in the mash potatoes
Therefore, it was a shock to learn that one of my all time favourite "group" starters is listed as - The number one worst food in America - the Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing at the Outback Steakhouse - 2,900 calories - even if you share with a few buddies -as we do - you've hit the calorie overload mark before they even serve the main plate.
All this comes from an article in Men's health magazine that features plenty of pictures of good looking, tanned dudes and dudesses with washboard tummies and happy faces who obviously eat all their meals in a vegetable garden.
Another starter that rocked the calorie counter - the Awesome Blossom at Chili's - 2,710 calories - worst steak - the 20 oz T-bone at Lonestar - 1,540 calories - worst chicken entree - another favourite - the honey chipotle crispers with chipotle sauce at Chili's -1,040 calories - and the list goes on and on - if you really want to explore this further you can check The top 20 worst foods in America - opens new window.
One more food item - this time via video - it deals with something I always do when I join the line at one of my favourite "all you can eat buffet" chains - when entering you give your drink order - I usually order lemonade - as I work my way toward the cashier I pluck a lemon slice from a bin and jam it on the edge of the glass - not any more -
Here's an unusual video I came across while searching for public domain material - someone, years ago - 1942 I think - took old German newsreel footage and created a wonderful piece of anti-Nazi propaganda - remember, no computer editing software in those days - whoever produced this was working with cut and paste film editing that has Hitler and his goose-stepping bully boys sashaying to the tune - The Lambeth Walk.
You may want to copy this and post it near your bed -
A New Day Soon Will Dawn by Ned Nichols
If life seems at its lowest ebb because a day has gone wrong. Let not your heart be troubled For a new day soon will dawn.
And we can never be quite sure Just what it has in store Since each one is so different Than the one just gone before
As it penetrates the darkness With its soft and tranquil beams, It calms even the most restless soul And brings new hopes and dreams.
So when a day has been troubled And the night is dark and long, Lift up your fallen spirits For a new day soon will dawn.
And while on the subject of testing our selves, contributor Judy Brodie sent us this intriguing exam with the following introduction:
What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895 - remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education?
Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?
This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA.
It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina , KS , and reprinted by the Salina Journal.
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, KS -1895 - Grammar (Time, one hour)
Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
Define verse, stanza and paragraph
What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of "lie,""play," and "run."
Define case; Illustrate each case.
What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you
understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time, 1:25 hours)
Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
Find the cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per metre?
Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus .
Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
Show the territorial growth of the United States.
Tell what you can of the history of Kansas .
Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln ,
Penn, and Howe?
Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour)
What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography,
etymology, syllabication
What are elementary sounds? How classified?
What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals
Give four substitutes for caret 'u.'
Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by
use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)
What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?
Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
Describe the mountains of North America
Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S
Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete - and, NO I don't have the answers to this test but I sure would like to see them.
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My thanks to contributor Sharon Raycraft for the following:
How to Wash a Toilet - This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you
Put both lids of the toilet up - add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid - you may need to stand on the lid.
The cat will self agitate and make ample suds - never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
Flush the toilet three or four times - this provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'
Have someone open the front door of your home - be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely, The Dog
Sharon also Emailed these signs that signal moments that indicated your getting old.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!!
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