Positive, Productive, Profitable Retirement News

Good morning all - it's a great day.

Due to a welcomed travel assignment, this will be my last entry until next Friday, March 9th - the reason - yesterday, the executive producer of this reality show we all participate in, renewed my contract - for how long I don't know - it's an open-ended deal - same contract you have.

After all the probing, piercing, scanning and scoping, the medical mystery that made it necessary for me to return to my homeland of snow and freezing rain from the State of sunshine and palm trees, has been solved.

The mysterious body invader turned out to be a nuisance that could have been trouble later on, but has now been removed and my body's aging machinery, will, within a few days, return to full function.

I am one lucky Son Of a Beautiful woman.

Coincidence? - maybe - but this morning, an Email from my retired Florida neighbour Dan Dombroski contained the following- this is not my copy - Dan tells me the authour is unknown - but it's a perfect fit for how I feel today:

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body - I sometime despair over my body, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.

As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie - I am entitled to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon?

I will dance to those wonderful tunes of the 40's and 50's.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers.
But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.
A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray - to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.

You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

I've come to terms with myself - I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

Today, I wish you a day of ordinary miracles.

I hope you will return next Friday. - (Go to URL)

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March 9, 2007 - Retirement driving - Remarkable Pictures - a Soldiers Song - Email updates

After safely completing another 17 hundred mile drive south and knowing that next year I will have to take an aged driver retest - a couple of observations -

What ever happened to the two car lengths or the four second space between cars rule?

There were times when I thought I was in a NASCAR race with the car behind me inches from kissing my tail pipe.

Multitasking appears to the norm these days - drivers on cell phones, combing hair -one gal had her dog on her lap - for all I know the mutt could have been driving - in today's paper, an article about how teens are texting while driving - well, here's a new acronym for them - "URAI" - (Translation: You are an idiot)

One other driving note for retirees - I just learned that we should reposition our hands on the steering wheel.

When I received my drivers license (yes we had cars back then) we were told to place our hands at the ten and two o'clock positions on the wheel - but not in the day of the air bag - at the 10/2 positions your hands or jewelry may whack you in the face if the air bag deploys - now they say to lower your grip to the 9 and 3 o'clock positions - also lessens back fatigue during long trips according to Driving Schools Association of the America's.

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You may not recognize his name, but if you are an occasional PBS viewer, you would know him as Mr. Humphries in the Brit TV comedy Are You Being Served? - a series that ran in the UK from 1972 to 1985 with reruns still scheduled on PBS.

John Inman, died in London at age 71 after a long battle with hepatitis A.

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Bill gates - you may have heard of him - once said - "What I do best is share my enthusiasm." - that's how I feel about promoting the idea of enhancing one's retirement with a creative retirement job via the internet - even better if you start before retirement.

But I find that many in our club, especially those who are computer newbie's, consider the idea of Ecommerce too daunting - they've been hit by the techie virus - an anti confidence bug that spreads technology terror and fears of age limitations.

But there's an antidote - take a minute to check it out for yourself. - and here's the story of a guy who defeated the techie bug -

"The first thing I do every morning is turn on my PC
to see how much I have earned in the night...
very addictive"
Nick Stubbs.

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Here's a collection of amazing pictures - my thanks to retired buddy Dan Dombroski for sending this incredible slide show - enjoy - Discover the Discovery.

This is a PowerPoint Presentation - If you don't have one - click here to download a FREE PP viewer from Microsoft.

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For those of you still doing the 9 to 5 thing - you might be interested in the following, sent in by my retired buddy Jim Hill - looking back, I can remember a number of occasions I could have used the following material -

FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU ARE CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK

• NUMBER 5: "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
• NUMBER 4: "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time-management course you sent me to."
• NUMBER 3: "Whew! 'Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here just in time!"
• NUMBER 2: "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these computer keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

• And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: (Raising your head slowly) " ... in Jesus' name, Amen."

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My thanks to retired buddy carol Raycraft for sending this - very moving - A US soldier's video - unfortunately, no information on name, rank and serial number - but as mentioned in the Email, he should get a recording contract when he comes home - his heartfelt song - If I Should Die Before You Wake.

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I came across a Blog written by Brandon Schenz of Cincinnati, Ohio who is a die hard basketball fan - that's what his Blog is all about - last Monday he was writing about how the pros make sure-fire free throws.

He offered up a four point plan to help players build the skill and confidence needed - "to win the big game." - it occurred to me that it's advise that can work for all us - especially those of us working a creative retirement job - think about it - Ritualize - Visualize - Optimize - Capitalize

• "Ritualize means you create a specific repeating pattern of behavior prior to performance, a regular pre-task routine, which sharpens your focus, concentration and attention."

• "Visualize means mentally rehearsing or "seeing" in your mind what you intend to do before you do it. When you visualize perfect form and a flawless shot that draws nothing but the bottom of the net, it becomes exponentially more likely to happen. You've heard the saying, "What you see is what you get", haven't you? Focus on the process and see perfection. You'll find that visualization is a powerful tool."

• "Optimize means allowing yourself to trust in you and your capabilities, to have the self-confidence to pull the ripcord, knowing the parachute will open. Simply put, don't hesitate! Delay does damage. Nike said it best with their million dollar slogan: "Just Do It!"

• "Capitalize means celebrate your success as well as the success of your teammates. Pat yourself on the back with each success at the line. When you make your free throws savor the success, nourish it, grow it, use it - capitalize on it. Allow it to build your confidence in other aspect of your game."

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Retirement Humour - My thanks to retired buddy, Bernice Dini for the following -

Two very elderly retired buddies, Max and Wally, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Wally didn't show up, Max didn't think much about it, figured maybe he had a cold or some such.

But after Wally hadn't shown up for a week or so Max really got worried.
However, the only time they ever got together anymore (they used to play a lot of golf together) was at the park, and Max couldn't remember where Wally lived so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month passed and Max figured old Wally had gone to his heavenly reward, but one day Max approached the park and, lo and behold, there sat Wally!

Max was very excited and happy to see him and told him so!
Then he said, "For crying out loud Wally, what happened to you???"

Wally replied, "I have been in jail."
"Jail???," cried Max!! "What in the world for???"

"Well," Wally said, "You know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where we sometimes get coffee?"
Yeah" said Max, "I remember her. What about her?"
"Well one day last month she got mad at me and to get even, she charged me with rape.

I was so proud of what everyone would think an old fart like me could still do, that when I got into court, I pled 'Guilty'.

The judge then took a good look at me and gave me 30 days for perjury."

Now let's take a look at how you can add to your retirement life - creatively and economically - (Go to URL)

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March 12, 2007 - Retirement News Music Lessons - Canada Eh? -Go Tell Grandma

I've been driving around with a strange woman in my car this past week - truly embarrassing to admit that until I received an Email from retired buddy Bill Ozard I had never heard of Madeleine Payroux -now she's singing to me very time I start the car thanks to Bill's introduction.

Matter of fact, I've been on an interesting musical journey this past week and it all started with Bill's Email that was in response to my an earlier Retirement Blog entry concerning my boyhood make believe fantasy of playing with Muggsy Spannier band in a Chicago booze hall. - and one of my favourite Dixieland pieces - "I wish I could Shimmy Like my Sister Kate."

Bill Emailed to say he liked Muggsy's rendition and that Madeleine Payroux also had a great version of "Kate" that she performed at a Montreal Jazz Festival but was not available on any of her CD's - I Emailed back - who is "Madeleine Payroux?"

I can now imagine Bill muttering something along the lines of - "you sad old sod" and arranged to send me a couple of Payroux cuts - thank you Bill - this gal, who was born in the US but brought up in Paris, is a modern version of Billy Holiday and to prove the point here's a sample - Madeleine Peyroux performing "Don't cry Baby" (by Bessie Smith), and "Don't wait too long", on Italian TV

My musical journey took a different direction later in the week thanks to a piano player by the name of Bob Milne, who travels around the country with his wife in an RV, to play and explain the musical history of Ragtime and Boogie Woogie - he recently performed in a Florida Church Auditorium before more than fifteen hundred folks - the majority senior citizens.

Now before I get into the Ragtime lesson and examples, let me introduce you to Bob Milne - I Googled and the only video I could find has Bob doing his Boogie Woogie bit.

You have to go back a hundred years for the beginning of the Ragtime era - a musical form born in the saloons and whorehouses in the American south and grew up in the concert halls and high society night clubs of America and Europe.

When Bob Milne, explained to his Florida church audience that Ministers at the time damned Ragtime as the Devils music that will lead to the destruction of the nation's youth - the audience, many of whom would be sitting in the same pew the following Sunday, laughed and applauded.

As musical historian Edward A. Berlin explains it - "Ragtime came from a mixed "black" and "white" background - the rhythm is black - the harmony/melody is white - Two rhythms at once - a steady beat in the left hand and something happening off the beat in the right hand. The tension between the two gives ragtime its special kick. Ragtime's syncopation grew into the foundations of Jazz, Swing and Rock n' Roll."

Ragtime really took off when Scott Joplin's "Maple Leaf Rag" was published in September 1899 - in the first six months sold 75,000 copies, becoming "the first great instrumental sheet music hit in America." - over 1 million copies of the sheet music were eventually sold, making Scott Joplin the first musician to sell 1 million copies of any type of music - here's a fella by the name of Takamon playing Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag on the piano

If you interested in hearing more Ragtime - I found this video - it looks like it may have been staged in a retirement community club house but the excerpts are from the 2006 West Coast Ragtime Festival.

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The BBC reports that Adults in 27 nations express satisfaction with two countries, according to a poll by the Program on International Policy Attitudes.

54 per cent of respondents think Canada and Japan have a positive influence in the world.

The European Union (EU) is second with 53 per cent, followed by France with 50 per cent, Britain with 45 per cent, China with 42 per cent, and India with 37 per cent.

More than 50 per cent of respondents believe the United States, Iran and Israel have a negative influence in the world.

The survey interviewed 28,329 people in Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Britain, Canada, Chile, China, Egypt, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Italy, Kenya, Lebanon, Mexico, Nigeria, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Russia, South Korea, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, and the United States, conducted from Nov. 3, 2006, to Jan. 16, 2007. Margin of error ranges from 3.1 to 4.9 per cent.

Too bad there's not an age breakdown of those surveyed - be interesting to see if there was any difference between young and old.

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My Thanks to retired neighbour Dan Dombroski for the following bit of retirement humour - A must read for Grandparents. I can relate to this -

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb ass' is it?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother."

Now let's start mapping our your creative retirement job - (Go to URL)

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March 14, 2007 - Retired smoker - Dangerous Driving - Secret Service papers

The headline in this mornings paper - 5 minutes of exercise curbs smoking desire, study finds.

Dr. Adrian Ikylor, the study's lead author and professor of exercise and health psychology at the University of Exeter, and colleagues reviewed 12 papers looking at the connection between exercise and nicotine deprivation - according to their analysis, just five minutes of exercise was often enough to help smokers overcome their immediate need for a nicotine fix.

The finding is being hailed as big whoops - "What's surprising is the strength of the effect," said Dr. Robert West, professor of health psychology at University College London "They found that the acute effects of exercise were as effective as a nicotine patch."

I say "big whoops" because I was told the same thing more than 25 years ago when I quit a two-pack-a-day habit cold turkey.
As I noted in my article Tips on How to Quit Smoking Cold Turkey "Meet every counter attack with drinks of water along with deep breathing - Take a walk. (again, deep breathing)"

Although exercise is a vital part of the overall quit smoking battle plan, it's only one weapon in the arsenal.
You're going up against a determined enemy and unless you have a strategy mapped out before you take the last drag, you don't stand much of a chance.

This morning's article reminded me on a recent poker game with some retired buddies - one guy would leave the table about every half hour to go outside to smoke.
He was asked why he didn't try to quit - " I'm too old - might was well enjoy what time I have left."

I wonder how much additional time he would have left if he quit?

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Thanks to nearly retired buddies Toni and Tim Grace for sending me this "wow" slide show - incredible pictures - I wonder how much these truckers are paid for this assignment.

This is a PowerPoint presentation - If you need to, you can download a FREE PowerPoint Viewer here from Microsoft.

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I came across the following earlier this morning - print and post it so you can read it first thing every morning - makes a lot of sense -

The past is history, so let it go.

The future is a mystery, so let it come.

The present is a gift - be truly in the present today and release all your fears (based on the past) and your worries (imagined futures) - this is the work of someone who truly wants to awaken, and break free from the anchors and burdens of dead yesterdays and speculative tomorrows.

Be here now - easier said than done, I hear you say.
But no one can stop us, except for ourselves.

There is only now - everything else is avoidance.

Brahma Kumaris, Mt Abu

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For those of us who were young enough to have lived through the WW11 years interesting material has just been released to the National Archives by Britain's Secret Service MI5

When you have the time - pour yourself a coffee and read some fascinating stories such as:

• The story of Jean Pujol Garcia, codenamed GARBO, one of the most successful double agents in the history of espionage.

• Gathered by Security Service interrogators following the end of the war - Eyewitness accounts of the last days of Adolf Hitler.

• How the Security Service defended Gibraltar from German and Spanish spies and saboteurs.

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As a retiree one said -

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

About to retire? Think about building a creative retirement job - (Go to URL)

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March 16, 2007 - Retirement Flashbacks - God's Creation - Outsourcing Comedy

My Retirement childhood flashbacks are increasing - it comes as part of the aging process I guess - but newspaper headlines, TV news reports/documentaries plus my many internet searches have increased time spent thinking of how much the world around me has changed over my 79 years.

Many of the changes I eagerly accept and are even willing to pay for - medical advances - technology and such.
Comfortable in my old Easy-Boy chair, I put the newspaper aside, close my eyes and daydream of what it would have been like if we had all these advances - "Back when I was a boy" - (yes, when I messed-up, which was fairly often - my father would start all his lectures with that oldie but goodie.)

The medical advances - yes - several family members would have lived longer, but for all the techie stuff - no thanks - we made out just fine thank you.

But it's the social and moral changes that scare me.

I know this is selfish, but I'm glad our children grew up in the waning years of the "old world" - parenting today is a mighty tough job - it's going to be an even tougher job for my grandchildren - kids see, hear and learn too much too soon in this day and age - imagine 10 years from now.

Yesterday, one of my favourite columnists, authours and broadcasters, even though I don't always agree with his political views - 65 year old Garrison Keillor - he of the "Prairie Home Companion Broadcast wrote a column dealing with the then and now - to which we can only add an - "Amen" - here's the part I relate to -

I grew up the child of a mixed-gender marriage that lasted until death parted them, and I could tell you about how good that is for children, and you could pay me whatever you think it's worth.

Back in the day, that was the standard arrangement.
Everyone had a yard, a garage, a female mom, a male dad, and a refrigerator with leftover boiled potatoes in plastic dishes with snap-on lids.

This was before caller ID, before credit cards, before pizza, for crying out loud.
You could put me in a glass case at the history center and schoolchildren could press a button and ask me questions.

Monogamy put the parents in the background where they belong and we children were able to hold center stage.
We didn't have to contend with troubled, angry parents demanding that life be richer and more rewarding for them.

We blossomed and agonized and fussed over our outfits and learned how to go on a date and order pizza and do the twist and neck in the front seat of a car back before bucket seats when you could slide close together, and we started down the path toward begetting children while Mom and Dad stood like smiling, helpless mannequins in the background.

Nature is about continuation of the species -- in other words, children.
Nature does not care about the emotional well-being of older people.

Under the old monogamous system, we didn't have the problem of apportioning Thanksgiving and Christmas among your mother and stepdad, your dad and his third wife, your mother-in-law and her boyfriend Hal, and your father-in-law and his boyfriend Chuck.

Today, serial monogamy has stretched the extended family to the breaking point.
A child can now grow up with eight or nine or 10 grandparents -- Gampa, Gammy, Goopa, Gumby, Papa, Poopsy, Goofy, Gaga and Chuck -- and need a program to keep track of the actors.

And now gay marriage will produce a whole new string of hyphenated relatives.
In addition to the ex-stepson and ex-in-laws and your wife's first husband's second wife, there now will be Bruce and Kevin's in-laws and Bruce's ex, Mark, and Mark's current partner, and I suppose we'll get used to it.

Garrison Keillor - 03/15/07

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I always appreciate a good headline - In the latest issue of Life magazine, there's a picture spread of what they call - "Sentence Sermons" - headlines on Church signs and these congregations have some creative headline writers -

From the First Reform Church of Bethlehem:

Keep Using My Name In vain
I'll make Rush Hour Longer. - God

From the Shiloh A.M.E. Zion Church:

Looking For a Lifeguard?
Ours Walks on Water.

From Trinity Lutheran Church:

Don't Wait For Six Strong Men
To Take You To Church.

From the First Baptist Church of Montana:

Sign Broken
Message inside This Sunday.

From the Christian Assembly Ministries:

Give Your Troubles to God
He's Up All Night Anyway.

Now for some truly beautiful pictures of God's main creation - my thanks to retired buddy Bill Ozard for sending in this amazing slide show

This is a PowerPoint Presentation - If you don't have one - click here to download a FREE PP viewer from Microsoft.

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This is important for all ages but especially for seniors - when it comes to dealing with your Doctor - Ask Questions - know what's going on and why.

According to the American Institute of Medicine, in the U.S. medical mistakes account for up to 98,000 deaths each year - more than result from car accidents, breast cancer or AIDS - so they're urging patients to get more involved and they have launched a "Questions are the Answer" campaign.

This may be an American campaign but it's something we GOTY's (Getting Older but Thinking Younger) should take listen to no matter where we live.

Here's a website that offers advice on how to talk to your Doctor - I strongly urge the following as priority -

• Write down your questions before your visit. List the most important ones first to make sure they get asked and answered.
• You might want to bring someone along to help you ask questions. This person can also help you understand and/or remember the answers.

As a visualization aid to remind you to always "ask questionsCheck out this video

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Retirement News Fun Video - This bit is from the Canadian comedy series - "The Royal Canadian Air Farce" -I can relate to this - just last week I phoned my computer manufacturer's customer support line and found myself connected to Karachi - but OUTSOURCING is part of our new world -so get used to it.

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My thanks to retired buddy Carole Raycraft for the following -

WOMEN KNOWING THEIR PLACES

A point of view... Barbara Walters of Television's 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Miss Walter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.

Miss Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation, said, "Land Mines."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
BEHIND EVERY MAN IS A SMART WOMAN.

Now for some Retirement Planning - building a creative retirement job - (Go to URL)

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March 19, 2007 - Fulfilling Retirement - Welcome to Retirement in Gator Country - Sid the Kid - Retirement Slide Shows -

Lets cut to the chase.

Retirement today is not like it was back in the "old days" - at least it doesn't have to be.
As Jerry Stilson, a partner at Genera Inc., a Calgary-based career consultancy, points out - "retirement used to mean sitting around and waiting for death, today, it means retiring into something, maybe even living your passion."

I call it - having a retirement job - a creative retirement job that centers on something you're passionate about - keeps you mentally alert - brings in some extra income - a retirement job that's fun.

Nancy Conroy, a retirement planner and president of the Conroy Group in Ottawa, told the 2006 Summit on the Mature Workforce held in Toronto recently, - "We used to talk about the "three stages of man'-childhood, adulthood and old age. Today, there are two stages to retirement: active retirement and classic retirement.

The last, or fourth, stage doesn't commence until well beyond 70, even 80.
About a quarter of those who work in retirement do so to supplement their income.
But others just want to keep active and productive."

Stilson notes - "The medical community is saying that the longer people work, the healthier they stay/ - older people who remain active, who live their passion, get a whole new lease on life. It can add 10 years to a lifespan."

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that complete retirement is stressful - downright unhealthy - retirement must include some sort of creative plan - click here for more

For those of you still planning for retirement - build your creative retirement job now - build a income producing bridge that will carry you smoothly into retirement

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Warning to retired snowbirds heading to or wintering in Florida - if you go fishing on Lake Istapoka stay in the boat and if you water ski -- try not to fall.

This picture was taken by a Lifeflight helicopter flying over Lake Istapoka , (For those of you who are not local, Lake Istapoka is near Sebring, Fl.)

That has to be a HUGE gator to have a whole deer in its mouth!

The alligator was found between Lake Istapoka and Pinedale estates... near the home of Jayne and Don Hobkirk.
Their neighbors had been telling them that they had seen a mammoth alligator in the Lake that runs behind their house, but they dismissed the stories as being exaggerations.

Friday they realized the stories were, if anything, understated.
Florida Game and Parks game wardens had to shoot the gator.

Joe Goff, 6' 5" tall, a game warden with the Florida Game and Parks Commission, walks past the 23-foot, one inch alligator that he shot and killed in Jayne and Don's back yard.

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I'm a sports fan - more to the point a sports watcher - born and raised in Canada, hockey is my sports passion - second on my TV sports list is football - next, the last ten minutes of a pro basketball game, especially when Steve Nash is playing.

Baseball is too slow in the action department for me and I've never figured out why soccer is the world's biggest draw.

To me, hockey tops them all with it's non stop, back and forth action featuring the right amount of manly violence, and, with the new rules, speedy skaters who's stick handling is nothing short of magical.

Take a look at the new NHL phenom Sid the Kid - leads the league in scoring - he's only 19 years old, 200 pounds of muscle, the thickness of a hockey helmet short of six feet and is empowered with an overload of talent and hockey smarts - some of his scoring efforts are nothing short of amazing - example:

This video is from the NHL website - there's a brief XM Satellite Radio commercial that you have to sit through first - then it moves to Crosby's first goal in last Friday nights Pittsburgh/Montreal game when he skates through four opposing players and scores while falling to the ice.

Crosby, was the Pittsburgh Penguins' 1st round choice ( 1st overall) in the 2005 NHL Entry Draft - he follows in the footsteps of the great Mario Lemieux who was the Penguins' 1st round choice ( 1st overall) in the 1984NHL entry draft and who is now co-owner of the club.

A hockey fan put together this video saluting the talents of the hall of famer Mario Lemieux and the future Hall of famer - Sidney Crosby.

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More video - This is fitting for the Retirement News Blog - some things to remember - enjoy this slide show - Moments of Reason.

Follow up with this slide show - The Wise Old Man,

Both of these slide shows are PowerPoint presentation - If you need to, you can download a FREE PowerPoint Viewer here from Microsoft.

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Retirement Humor:

An older couple is lying in bed one morning after waking up from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not
"Because I'm dead."
"What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!"
She said, "No, I'm definitely dead."
"You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."

Now, lets view a video on best to proceed with our retirement job idea - (Go to URL)

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March 21, 2007 - No Left Turns Especially During Retirement

I'm taking the easy way out today and for you, the reader, it's a big plus.

I want to share a heart warming story that was Emailed to me by my retired buddy in oil rich Alberta, Bill Ozard - it certainly tops any of the stuff I had planned for today's entry.

It was written by Michael Gartner, who, I found out today, is ten years younger than I am - not that this means damn all - but I seem to be doing a lot of that lately - age comparisons.

Gartner was president of NBC News from 1988 to 1993
As chairman and editor of The Daily Tribune in Ames, Iowa, from 1993 to 1999, Gartner won the Pulitzer Prize for Editorial Writing - he has also been a columnist for the op-ed pages of The Wall Street Journal and of USA Today

Thanks Bill - this "feel good" piece brightened my day, as I know it will for others.

By Michael Gartner -

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90's, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: "Oh, bull----!" she said. "He hit a horse."

"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines, would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home.

If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that. But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one."

It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown. It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother. So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, and a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving.

The cemetery probably was my father's idea.

"Who can your mother hurt in the > cemetery?" I remember him saying once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustine's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning.

If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home. If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio.

In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream.

As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"

"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

"No left turns," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic. As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."

"What?" I said again.

"No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."

"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.

"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works." But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing. "Loses count?" I asked. "Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."

I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.

"No," he said. "If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102. They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news. A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."

"You're probably right," I said.

"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.

"Because you're 102 years old," I said.

"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night. He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: "I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet."

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:

"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have." A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.

I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life -

Or because he quit taking left turns.

Written By Michael Gartner

To all, remember this old Indian saying:

" "When you were born you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."

Also, plan a creative and fulfilling retirement - (Go to URL)

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March 23, 2007 - Retirement Comedy - Fun Videos - Sleep and Garlic

The images of life

Charles Warner says, "I am an old fart trying to recapture my wasted youth, because when I go, I want to leave 'em laughing."

Regular readers of this Retirement News Blog and visitors to the host website, know that the central theme of both is to encourage folks to build a creative retirement job via the internet with a website that deals with a topic or product that they're passionate about - a creative challenge to keep them mentally energized.

Charlie Warner has gone this route and his website is built around his passion for - comedy.

Charles, a former American broadcaster, retired in 02 - now in his mid 70's, he has teamed up with Ray Ellin, a professional comedian, to build a site -"where the comedians are in charge, not management, and everyone is encouraged to defy and make fun of management and ownership. Everyone can identify with that. That's why I started this website."

Unlike many of us who built their creative retirement job for just pennies, Charlie Warner, bankrolled this venture with big bucks - he's worked deals with some of the best comedy clubs and laughs just keep on coming.

This is comedy designed just for the internet - Charles points out - "Stand-up routines slapped onto the Web don't really work, just as it didn't work when TV tried to take radio programs and stick them on television - we're trying to invent a new medium for the Internet."

Here's the kicker - you too can be a stand-up comedian, or at least give it a shot - you can offer up video of your comedy routine - or if you're not a performer, you can offered material ideas to the professionals.

It's a brassy and bawdy site featuring a gang of ruckus comedians - and it's Charlie Warner's creative retirement job and he's laughing.

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Retirement News Blog Video Selections

For our American readers, retired neighbour Tom Adams told us of this site this site featuring states flowers

Cute commercial from the UK Leaving Home.

My thanks to daughter-in-law Julie for this fun video - Funny Church Moments.

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Retirement News Health Notes

Get your sleep or you can impair the brain's ability to remember new information.
A Harvard University study has found a single night of sleep deprivation can limit the consolidation of memory the next day.

There are two possible explanations for these results, the study says. Either the sleep-deprived body actively inhibits brain function, or the lack of sleep leads to an accumulation of information that overwhelms the hippocampus.

The study that was publish recently in Nature Neuro-Science warns that even one night of lost sleep can impair the brain's ability to remember new information.

One more - this from the Count Dracula file - you may not get much lovin' but at least your arteries will flow freely - if you get on the garlic kick.

A new study says garlic contains enzymes that break down to form a variety of healthful chemicals termed organosulfur compounds and these help prevent blood clots, combat hardening of the arteries.

This study shows that cooked garlic works against its anticlotting chemistry.
They say putting the buds through a press and letting it stand for 10 minutes before cooking helped preserve the garlic's efficacy.

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Retirement Humour

60 year old Kevin Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."

Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."

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75 year old John Mason was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."

"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
With his last breath John said, "I do!"

Now, let's get working on that creative retirement job - (Go to URL)

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March 26, 2007 - Retirement Stats - Are You Happy - Retirement Thoughts